I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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