he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
