it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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