Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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