yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
