it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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