Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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