DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
