i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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