the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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