I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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