Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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