do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
