Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
