Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
