i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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