If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
