You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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