In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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