I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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