I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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