i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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