Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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