it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
