Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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