Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
