we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
