I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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