Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
