i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
