I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
