Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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