Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
