she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
