how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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