I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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