when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
