you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
