well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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