Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
