First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
