I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
