it was like his penis was on wheels.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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