i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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