I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
