I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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