I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
