I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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