My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
