i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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