hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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