ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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